Einstein's Theory of Cosmology + New Moon in Cancer: It's Always Been Written In the Stars
“Life Goes On
The song that accompanied your funeral was performed at a wedding today.
Like a tribute to the matter that life goes on,
and I think I breathed for the first time in years.
I think my heart finally learned what it means for a moment to be hauntingly beautiful.
It is not a mystery to me that life is tragic,
but it has never been so evident that tragedy is beauty more than beauty is itself.
The cracks in your heart are not riffs in your soul, but roads to your core.
The tears in your eyes will someday let you see it,
the music that drowns you will someday let you breathe.”
June 28: New Moon in Cancer.
Astrologically, what does this mean for us? Well, strap in.
Cancer is a cardinal water sign, which means that "we are encouraged to assess our emotional stability and security, as well as the foundation our lives stand upon," (Don't come for me, I don't remember the source...google?). Tuesday, June 28th is the day our moon was in Cancer. Tuesday, June 28th was a very hard day for me. Now, slowly approaching a month since this day, we can look unto the stars and somehow make out, in the way beyond, that our moon is in Pisces. I am not a fist to chest advocate for astrology, but I can sit quite comfortably with the idea that the moon is capable of affecting our lives, maybe even less cynically, our emotions.
Cambridge professor, cosmologist, and physicist, Brian Cox, once spoke about Einstein's equation which proved that time is not stationary. In his talk he stated: "These equations are screaming out to you that, 'No, the universe is not static and unchanging.' Space and time respond to the matter and energy inside them, by stretching, or shrinking, or changing." Thus, this theory alludes to a world where there exists a today without yesterday.
In the throws of my misery I listened to Cox and remembered how poetic science can often be. My lip puckered and tears began to well, while I can still acknowledge the beauty within the cosmic universe, it becomes difficult to remind the self of that when the soul is in state of sorrow and anguish. This has been the coldest and most sad July and August I have had to experience in a very long time. It is incredible how as humans we are capable of feeling both joy and pain simultaneously. I know life is magnificent and that change is profound, however, it does not take away the discomfort that comes along with it. I am a chameleon, I can accept change, but does it all have to hurt so much? Do we have to say goodbye? Even if it is not goodbye and it merely disguises itself as a "see you later," I don't know how much more my heart can bear letting go.
How do you let go of something/one you are irrevocably and madly in love with? When all your heart wants is to hold and cherish, caress and care for another human being, but the universe continues reminding you to give that love to yourself. I feel robbed. In a perfect world we would get everything we wanted. This is not to say romance is everything or that my life has gone amiss, but for a romantic such as myself waking up each morning sans a warm body around me makes getting out of bed all the more vile.
I no longer want to say good bye. Too often have I had to watch the metro doors shut before me, leaving me on the platform as I let a lover, friend, or family member continue on their journey. Too often do I walk slowly back up the subway stairs, onto the city streets, hands within my pockets, pockets filled with love for me to keep for a while. I love with an intrepid heart, one that is often disillusioned by peoples' true character (which only time can reveal). It is important to remember that a persons bad behaviors do not necessarily make them bad as a whole. The Dalai Lama taught me that our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if we can't help them, we can make the effort to not hurt them. It is absolutely necessary to love with an open heart because so many of us are hindered by "the fear" (this is subjective to the individual) of love, of life. The Dalai Lama also said: "Compassion is a blend of empathy and reason. When we practice compassion, we will have more strength, peace, and joy and this will transfer to everyone with whom we associate." Compassion and love come from a place of understanding, where we can recognize the flaw within someone because it still has or had once existed within ourselves. But more profoundly, everyone deserves patience, we are like confused babies, grappling with our subjective misconstrued understanding of the universe.
I will eventually learn to love with more intelligence and awareness. Everyday I get better at intuitively sensing someone's intentions, whether they reveal them physically or not. I trust my intuition, despite having been belittled for it once before, I have come to realize it is an important skill I have mastered in order to avoid certain characteristics and patterns within people. The only way I get better at it is by getting hurt, by letting new people in, by trusting fully, and I regret nothing, because after all pain is simply weakness leaving the body, and without it we would not recognize joy if it came to us.
Cosmology Briefing
I do not believe in angel numbers necessarily, but Einstein confirmed that there is a link between stars and their relationship to our lives and time. Therefore, the other morning as I drove to work in a depressive state of mind and the gloomy sky worsened my mood I peered at the giant cement truck before me at the stoplight. My immediate thought, as it always is when I drive behind one of those massive beasts, was: 'What in the Final Destination do we have here?' The second thought was of the license plate which read: 1VX7111. Something about the nature of these numbers made me curious. Apparently, 111 symbolizes changes, new beginnings and opportunities, stronger intuition and serves as a reminder to change ones attitude in order to manifest healthy and positive outcomes for their life. As with most things in life it is easy to self diagnose and relate to what we want, however, life's synchronicity is absolutely jarring at times. This is what cosmology is in one way or another, while it used to be considered a branch of philosophy, an academic Stanford essay defines its purpose as to, "deal with physical situation that is the context in the large for human existence: the universe has such a nature that our life is possible. This means that although it is a physical science, it is of particular importance in terms of its implications for human life," (Smeenk, et. al). What this suggests is that it has, in fact, always been written in the stars.
August 2: Moon in Taurus
Mars, Uranus, and North Node conjunction, rare occurrence... Since it has been over a month that I have been sitting on this blog I imagined it might be helpful to take a look at how the moon and planets have been affecting my life, and the lives of the people around me now. As per a quick google search I came to discover that a conjunction is the coming together of several planets within the same sign. Mars wants us to act and take action, saying yes to the passion within our hearts, Uranus is the sacred rebel, and here for truth, and the North Node, which is actually a mathematical point at which the moon orbits along the ecliptic, is our destiny. In other words, there is no question of "what if's" for the North Node, it already knows our path forward.
What's most interesting about these signs and this date is how they individually affect us on a day to day. Mars speaks to our instinct and motivation, where we follow the passion within our hearts to move forward. Uranus represents change, freedom, and liberation, and like a lighting bolt will strike and break apart everything that is present in order to initiate what will come next...Its energy is usually unexpected. The North Node is where we hold our desire to move forward and away from the ways of the past. It speaks to our destiny, our guiding light which takes us to our greatest growth, fulfillment, and purpose.
As I write this I want to throw my head back with laughter. I want to blame the moon for all of my problems. I want the pain to go away. I want nothing more than to just feel regulated and happy again, but there are so many interweaving tendrils of complicated social politics that are causing me stress. With time life will get easier. With time love will find its way around. With time I will find true joy again. Until then I pour much of my anguish onto this page and hope it reaches the right people. I will heal. You will heal. Be patient and the stars will align just right...
